Thank you to the Volleyball Community

It’s been a while since I have made a blog entry. I needed to take a break. About a year ago my mom entered hospice and I spent almost all my free time with her. Outside of work and volleyball, pretty much I was at my parent’s house just “being there”. My mom passed away on October 2, 2022. She was at home and with all her family the final week.

So why do I share this through this forum? Because volleyball and the volleyball community was (and still is amazing). I really don’t know how I would have gotten through a lot of this without them. THIS is why I continue to ref 6 nights every week from mid August until mid November. This is why I put in countless hours in the offseason coordinating clinics and reaching out to coaches, ADs, conference commissioners, officials, and parents.

In early August my dad was inducted into the Wisconsin Volleyball Coaches Hall of Fame as an official. He has put in a good portion of his life to High School Volleyball in Wisconsin and he deserved this award so much. However, my mom was well into hospice and getting out of the house at this time was very difficult even on her best days. My mom didn’t want my dad to skip this special day and my dad didn’t want to go without her. It was arranged so that the presentation of awards was changed and my dad would receive his recognition first and then the family would be excused (no questions asked) to go into the hall and take pictures while the ceremony proceeded. The day was such a special moment and it couldn’t have happened without the support and kindness of the WVCA and presentation planners.

When Mom passed away we had five visitors the following week. Four of them were people from the volleyball community. They stopped by to see how we were doing. They brought food. They brought flowers and gifts. They came just to be there. My family is a part of a lot of different social groups but the volleyball community showed just how close we can be.

When we were planning Mom’s funeral we decided Saturday would be the best for family and those coming out of town. We knew Saturdays are virtually impossible to adjust schedules for those in high school volleyball. We didn’t expect to see many people from volleyball to show up and we were ok with that. What happened surprised us (even though it shouldn’t have). We had visitors come early and some came later in the day. There were flowers that were sent. I was supposed to ref that day. Last year was a bit different for me as Linda (my regular partner) had to step back from officiating and I started reffing with Jen but her schedule didn’t allow her to be at every weekend tournament so I sometimes had different partners. This weekend I was paired with someone I knew well and I knew he was supposed to ref with me that day. When I saw him at the funeral I was a bit shocked and confused. I asked, “Weren’t you supposed to ref with me today?” He replied, “Yes. I found a replacement so I could be here.” I said, “You didn’t have to do that.” He said, “Yes, I did.” I will never forget that moment and it meant more than anyone will ever know.

I took a few days off from volleyball. I then called Linda (our assignor and long time partner) and said I think I am ready. She asked if I was sure. I said, “Not completely.” But looking at my schedule I saw the game coming up was one of only a few places I could go to and feel 100% sure I would be ok and able to do the job I needed. I mentioned that to Linda and she agreed. I showed up at the game and when I saw Jen (my current partner) no words were needed and we just had a great hug. Then I saw the coach and the same thing happened. I knew I was just where I need to be. It just so happened this was also Officials Appreciation Week. Before the game we were given goodie bags and cards. I still have the cards. After the game the captain came up to me once things had mostly cleared out. She just kind of looked at me and I could tell she didn’t know what to say. She said “Thank you” and walked away. I asked the coach after if any of the kids knew the background and she said yes and her captain wanted to say something but didn’t know what exactly to say. Just her coming to me still means a lot.

So, this blog is a big THANK YOU to the volleyball community. Thank you for helping me and my family through this difficult time. This community is the reason I love what I do and will continue to keep doing what I am doing.