When is it too much? I think I have recently found that breaking point. I am trying to figure out why THIS is my breaking point but I think I finally found it. Let me explain.
I have officiated volleyball for 30 years now. I have officiated grade school games, college matches, multiple state championships in multiple states. I have been accused of not knowing the rules, playing favorites, getting assignments because I knew the right people, not caring, caring too much. None of these is true. If they were I never would have lasted 30 years in a position that pays so little and requires so much. I give up almost all my free time and family time for three months and then spend endless hours in the offseason preparing myself, other officials, and my association for the next year. I do it because I love the sport of volleyball. I love my fellow officials, especially my partners. I love the student-athletes and seeing them grow over the years. Not only as volleyball players but as people. Yes, officials notice those things. Now the money is nice but when you factor things in, it’s minimal for the money I put into officiating and the amount of time I spend away from home.
We just had a board meeting for our association. We spent quite a bit of time talking about recruiting officials. How can we get more people, especially younger people, to officiate? How can we show them how rewarding it is to be a referee? Where should we go to find these people? Everything we came up with we have already tried. Yet we will continue to look for new officials.
Today I finally asked WHY?
There was recently an incident where a girls basketball coach narrated over a game tape. Questioning everything from the calls to the integrity and character of the officials working the game. This video was then shared and circulated. This video was questioning very high-level officials. Honestly, I don’t even care if they were rookie officials that had a rough night. This is not acceptable. How can we honestly beg young people (or older people) to officiate when this is acceptable? The kicker is this happened at a school whose mission statement states that they want to educate students intellectually and spiritually as well as guide students to work to their highest, God-given potential.
Who would ever want to expose themselves to the chances of this happening nightly with little to no reward? The better you are at officiating, the game you are assigned are putting you in positions for this to happen even more. If you are one of the top lucky few, you get to officiate a state championship where an entire town comes out to tell you that you are blind, you suck, and you should call it both ways. Who would want to do this?
I do!
So why has a basketball situation affected me so much as a volleyball official? Because just like the saying goes- player can play. Officials can officiate. We are all in the same boat. Sometimes we may not be all looking to go to the same place, but we are all in this together. When something happens to one official like this it makes me reflect on all the times things have happened to me that I just brushed off when maybe I should have stood up for myself.
Officiating has given me more than I could ever imagine. The relationships I have built are one of the biggest reasons I love doing this. I had a coach come to me and say, “I remember you reffing my match in high school. You called me on all my doubles. You were right.” I laughed at her but then she said, “You were one of the best refs we ever had.” I was reffing a match with my dad in a sectional final and the assistant came up to me between sets to tell me the head coach said to her, “This sucks. I can’t get mad at the refs because they are right on every call tonight.” I get to have breakfast with some of the most caring and invested people every Saturday during the season. THAT is my reward. Teams get medals. They get the gold ball. They get the write up in the paper. They storm the court after a big win. The refs get a check and if we are really lucky a postcard at the end of the season that was preprinted with our name on a sticker that says, “Thanks.” Yet we love it. I can’t show my emotions but when that team that has struggled for years finally wins that big game or that player I saw barely able to serve a ball over the net as a freshman walk with her parents out on parents night as the captain, or that comment from my partner, “You had a hell of a good night” THAT is why I do this and I will continue to do this.
I will also stand up for all of my fellow officials who have to put up with the garbage that is thrown our way. If I stand up – If WE stand up, just maybe someone will listen and start to change. The players deserve good officials, and the officials deserve so much better than what they are getting. They – WE- deserve……. RESPECT.
21 thoughts on “Enough is Enough”
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Well said Brian!
Outstanding!!! I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thank you!!!!
Well said I have 45 years as a official basketball just retired, 45 years softball still umpire, baseball 41 years still umpire, and volleyball 26 years still officiating. I love to do it and my fellowship with others that I referee with! I don’t need the money. People ask me why with the abuse I have seen in my years. It is something we love for what ever reason each one of us do it for the game!
I agree, the school needs to do more than just a letter of reprimand. This is a total reflection of how our society is going these days in that actions that deserve consequences go unpunished and then are perpetuated many times over knowing that nothing will be done (can you say “stolen car”?). What kind of an example is this to the players and families of this team when their leader acts in this manner? How will other coaches approach situations knowing that a slap on the wrist is the extent of what is given? I certainly hope that the WIAA takes some type of action and holds this coach responsible for his/her poor behavior. In my limited time on the court the last few years I have seen more and more of this type of behavior where the official is looked down upon and made out to be the bad guy when all he or she is doing is their job- a voluntary job at that! The numbers of officials are dwindling and things like this only make it worse when one is positioned to weigh declining a contract because of things like this, working lower level games where both coaches and players have fun and still respect the stripes, or just hanging up the whistle altogether and not putting oneself in the position to be ridiculed and disrespected.
Brian,
Thoughtfully composed. Your observations, concerns, and fears for our sport—actually all officiated sports—
are well articulated. We want to herald the satisfactions of officiating to the younger generations joining our ranks, and the egregious example cited affects us all.
With all due respect, the person(s) associated with the production and dissemination of the video should receive the consequences that such a disservice demands. The integrity of the sport(s), including players, coaches, officials, and spectators requires further consequences for this affront.
My wife won’t even go to games I officiate after a fight almost occurred between parents at an 8 year old baseball game (I was officiating the next game). All over 8 year olds being 8 year olds and having fun chanting. Some parents didn’t like when they were doing it and it almost came to blows.
I have had dirt kicked on me, bumped, yelled in my face, cursed at, been called a racist, had my integrity questioned, my eyesight questioned, etc over the years. What keeps me coming back is being able to see people play the game they love and the joy it gives them. Otherwise, I would of been done many years ago (and I am young compared to most of you).
Amen ! It’s too bad it had to come to this. We need to care for one another as officials. I’m sure we all had ugly moments similar to what happened. And we did nothing! I’m glad that it has reached the breaking point with our area Official’s Associations. Enough is Enough. Let’s hope this will be resolved positively and peacefully so coaches will have respect for the hard work we put into officiating. AT ALL TIMES! (Even when their team isn’t playing well!)
Not only do we as officials have to care for one another,sometimes we are all we have.We all have good and bad days,and we as officials know when those days are. We perform a service,not so much for money,but to see someone else“ kid or kids grow. ITS bad enough we sometimes take the game home with us for days and we didnt give that coach a tech or red card.We just go on like it never happened.The coaches go home and get a good night sleep,while we are replaying the game all night.Maybe the day will come when we watch them,then we will get the last laugh.
Maybe egregious behavior should be met with temporary boycotts and unified work stoppages. A case of black and white (and blue) flu. Maybe when not a single official is “available” for anywhere on a give day or in a given week, then maybe folks will get the message that enough is enough.
I agree. Part of “standing up” means we officials need to start demonstrating resolve when a school or organization fails to adequately deal with inappropriate behavior. A simple “No, I will not work that school’s games any longer” by us would go a long way to reining in the bad eggs. Too many times we hear “don’t punish the kids” when a boycott is mentioned. It is time to turn it around and say that “the same goes for you.”
I am a going into my 5th year as a football official, so i haven’t been doing this as long as most of you, but I did work in retail for 25 years, so people being jerks isnt soemthing thats new to me
Yes, some fans and coaches can get out of hand, most are good people, but lets face it the few can really ruin it for the rest because we remember the bad more than the good
but i also think as officials we need to stand together, throw the flag together, let the schools know that fans cursing at us all game won’t be tolerated.
what I hear from a lot of older officials is dont be so sensitive.
A lot of varsity officials don’t want you to throw a flag on coaches, because they are the ones rating you in my aera. One of my first varsity games, I was the back judge and i didn’t throw a pass interference penalty in the end zone. Now maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, thats not the point
The coach came done to the 15 yard line past the 9 yard markers to yell at me. When i told him coach, there was no restriction and face guarding alone isn’t a penalty at this level His response was I was the worst referee ever and needed to go back to ref school. I threw a flag, and he said go ahead throw a flag i am down by 20. The white told me to pick it up, because he is a nice guy and don’t be so sensitive.
Now i didnt get mad, i didnt yell at the coach or even complain to the white hat, i simple will no longer do a game with that white hat.
he was ok with me getting abused and that is not ok with me
We need to have standards,
This year in pal football the Pal organization decided to start a zero-tolerance rule.
basically 1 unsportsmanlike penalty that coach is suspended for the year.
a fan is yelling from the stand, we tell the coach to control it or that the game would be forfeited, and coach would be suspended next game and that parent would be banned for life
While behavior has definitely gotten worse over the last several years, I believe that WE inevitably have the power to send the message that certain behaviors will not be tolerated. I officiate football and basketball. I am happy to communicate on any particular call I make. However if the coaches behavior or reaction crosses the line to abuse or making it personal then he will get the appropriate penalty with a flag or Technical foul. If the coach can’t self correct his behavior then it’s going to be an early end for him. I hold fans to the same scrutiny. Especially in youth level sports. Now, I don’t go looking to throw people out of games but if it’s warranted they’ll be sent packing.
That is the only way WE can send a message that that type of behavior will not be accepted, PERIOD!
well said
I have been officiating high school basketball for 55 years and still going and the reason is everything that was stated in the article. The love of the sport beyond all else. As long as I can help kids learn by officiating without showing anger at players, coaches and fans, I will continue. Most fans simply cheer their team, some go beyond that and berate officials. When it becomes too loud or they use curse words I have no problem in having them removed by the game administrator. As far players, usually talking to them about their attitude is enough to stop misbehavior. Sometimes it is necessary to call a “t” but so far this season I have only called one. Coaches, what can be said about coaches. They want to win above all and the good coaches might react to a call that goes against them but will forget about it 5 minutes later. As long as they don’t insult my mother I’m ok with their voicing their displeasure, politely of course. I usually respond with “I hear you coach, will watch more closely”. Usually that satisfies them. I have only had to call one “t” on a coach this year and it was a middle school coach who thought he was coaching the NBA. Once we sat him down he didn’t say a word. The bottom line is controlling yourself. I have a slew of one liners I use that usually gets a smile from a coach or a player. The vollyballl official was right when he said that things have gotten out of hand. For instance, that video he mentioned should have been sent to the state high school governing body. It couldn’t hurt and might help. Bless all of the officials who “stick with it”. Looking back over my 55 years I feel satisfied that I have done my best in any given situation and if I haven’t I learned from it and tried to do better. When an official ceases to enjoy the game they should retire. Nuff said.
Mr. McKenney,
Congratulations on your lengthy officiating career.
As a long time volleyball official, I’d be interested in hearing some of the one liners you use to get coaches to smile.
Thanks.
Folks – I just completed my 42nd year of officiating and I would not trade any of it no matter what.
A few months ago I read a discussion on a football forum where fans were complaining about how the officials cost them the game, questioning their integrity and honesty. I did not write this but I wish I would have. It stated what one would say if Col. Nathan R. Jessup from “A Few Good Men” respond to such questioning?” Picture Jack Nicholson barking out the following…
“Fans, we live in a world that has football and those games have to be officiated by men with flags. Who’s gonna do it? One of you? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for bad calls, and you curse the officials. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That mistakes, while unfortunate, are part of the game. And an official’s existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, is still required to play the game. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about on this platform, you want me on that game. You need me on that game! We use words like honor, integrity, love for the game. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent honoring our avocation. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who yells and screams at me about a rule he doesn’t understand, under the blanket of the very opportunity to play the game that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a flag and take up a position. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think of how I do my job.”
Right now we have a shortage of officials because of how people act. It seems like everywhere I turn, either at games where I wear the black and white, or watching and being a spectator, or even watching on TV – people are complaining about the referees. In a couple of years, there will be games that will be cancelled – not postponed – as there are not many young people getting back into the game they once played when they were in school. Maybe we can convince these individuals that state what they say come out for one game to see if you can do better. I would bet that every association out there would welcome you to help us continue to provide these student athletes an opportunity to play than being cancelled because no one wants to do this anymore.
Well said Brian. I’m a retired official. I officiated because I loved the game and enjoyed working with my fellow officials. I would help recruit for the sport but no one seems to want help any more.
Brian,
Thank you for saying what many of your fellow officials feel. As a Basketball Official for 45 years (there are a lot of us) and a volleyball official for 15 years, I have heard all of the same things. Missing a year of sports has brought out a bunch of bad habits, mostly caused by watching the NBA instead of playing. I tell players, coaches and fans that NBA is NOT high school federation rules. It is entertainment!. I have tried to talk to parents/fans at halftime of kids games to explain the reason for calls. I give them a chance to ask questions, but have yet to get any questions. So I stopped asking.
I feel with the internet today, you can say anything and hide behind your screen name. It is now coming out into the public and I expect it to get worse. I still love officiating and will continue to work 6 days a week at my profession. Yes, there are still coaches, fans and players who thank us for what we do. That keeps me going.
Keep the faith. What we do for the kids we officiate is important. They need structure and rules to live by and we give them that.
Bob
Hooray for you! Yes, let’s stand up for ourselves and for the integrity of the game! I can appreciate the white hat’s concern for the relationship with the coach, but it desperately needs to be balanced with concern for the integrity of his crew and the rules of the game. Sounds like it’s out of balance. Can your Association hold a meeting of all officials to discuss the issues involved? That might be a beginning to work toward a better balance.
Thank you to all the veteran officials whether WIAA or not. Many great points and reflections Brian, not that you ever have a lacking for gold nuggets in ideas, tips and information.
As a “greener” official you all have great feed back and keep it coming. I love picking up a little adjustment or new skill each season. Just as in any office setting or profession we need to support each other and self-police towards being better, quality awesome folks each year. As a few parents/coaches can harm the rep of the rest so can it occur in the opposite.
Keep having fun and working hard as always all. Big congrats on having this blog article hit the Referee.com Review. Being published is always exciting.
I totally agree. I have umpired for 27 years boys and girls base and soft ball it’s great. The players R the ones I enjoyed the most with the coaches second. I have coaches ask why I do it and I tell them being a little kid I have always been picked on, but now I get paid 4 it. GOD’S BLESSINGS ✝️⚾🙃